Sunday, September 2, 2018

Roller Coasters Are The Worst

Mom and Dad hate roller coasters. Despise them. 
But Ryan convinced Mom to take him on a Mommy date to try his first real coaster. She picked the one that claimed to be the most "family friendly".
I guess "family friendly" means it shoots out of the gate at a whiplash inducing 60mph, and straight up a cliff. See Ryan's brave face here? That face was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS I WANT TO GET OFF" at the top of the FIRST drop.
Mom felt like the worst parent in the world, holding his hand while he screamed THE WHOLE TIME and while she kept her eyes closed, screaming "IT'S OKAY IT'S ALMOST OVER YOU'RE OKAY".
They survived, and as the coaster rolled back into the station, they looked at each other and said "Well, that was awful". Mom's just grateful she never has to ride another one with him again.
The rest of the day was fun, Ryan the Lion liked feeding the baby kangaroos.
The tigers looked so cuddly.
They loved getting splashed by Sheikra. Not actually riding Sheikra, just watching it from the safety of the ground.
And the elephants, of course, were awesome. 
As long as Child Protective Services doesn't pick Mom up for traumatizing him on the roller coaster, we'll chalk this up to a good bonding day.
He even taught her how to do his signature selfie dead eye smile.
He loves coasters, loves learning everything about them, loves watching them. But riding them is the worst.

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